The pain, the sorrow, the ache of empty arms and shattered dreams.

Luke was twenty-two. Mark was just seventeen. Matthew was in his thirties when he strung a noose around his neck.

All suicide victims, and all men who had crossed my path. The names have been changed to protect the privacy of their families.

Matthew lived across the street from us for ten years. Newly divorced, he hung himself, leaving behind two precious children, both under the age of ten. Mark was a member of our church.

But Luke…Luke was one of my son’s childhood friends, and although they hadn't connected since middle school, he was my son's age, and finishing his senior year of college.

Close friends admitted to being shocked and insisted they hadn’t seen this coming. He’d never shown signs of depression. He was well-liked, made good grades, and his whole glorious life stretched in front of him.

As a youngster, Luke’s parents poured their lives into their boys. I know because I was with them three nights a week for football practice and Saturday games, served alongside his mom in PTAs, saw them out and about town for various school and athletic events.

The pain, the sorrow, the ache of empty arms and shattered dreams.

What would make a father string a rope around his neck and kick a chair out from under him? What would make a teenager stick a gun in his mouth and press the trigger?

After more than a half a century of living, I can vouch that time, while it may not necessarily heal, lessens the pain. As a third-degree burn survivor, yes, the searing pain eventually subsides. And, yes, those intense wounds of betrayal took years to conquer and divorce is a long, lonely road, but now I’m married to my true soulmate.

Why am I sharing this?

To whisper in your ear that …. You’re not alone. The God who created the universe loves you with a forever love, something wide and deep and transcends time and understanding. He’s placed families in your life who love you, people in your path who care about you, and they will walk this road with you. Let them in. Let them help.

Maybe you’re standing on a precipice, one foot dangling in the air, life or death just a step away…and you take that step. What if there is a flash, a single moment of clarity, where you regret your decision? Where you wish your life back?

What if you could catch glimpses of your future? Perhaps you’d see your son or daughter all grown up, holding your grandbaby in their arms? Or you’re huddling over a beautiful wife who is gazing up at you with wonder and love in her eyes as she cradles a newborn to her chest. What if you could see yourself in a new job, enjoying it so much more than the one you lost? What if you could feel the sorrow in the loved ones you’ll leave behind...their lives tattered and torn, a huge gaping hole that only you could fill. Wondering what they could have done, what they could have said, what they could have been…

The pain, the sorrow, the ache of empty arms and shattered dreams.

God has the power to weave a beautiful tapestry out of fragile strands of pain and suffering and sorrow. God can take those dark places, those huge, gaping holes and fill them with hope. He can take the pain and suffering, meld them into something beautiful called joy.

I’ll remember the cute little boy with honey colored curls. The giant of a man, strong and powerful, who adored his kids. The tall, gangly teenager, not quite boy, not quite man, surrounded by a loving family.

But the families left behind…what will they remember?

The pain, the sorrow, the ache of empty arms and shattered dreams.

I pray that these three souls finally found the precious peace they sought and for the God of all creation to wrap His arms of comfort around the loved ones they left behind.

Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. ~Psalm 30:5 NLT

Wait on the Lord by Angela E. Arndt

"Wait on the Lord and be of courage and He shall strengthen thy heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord." Psalm 27:14

Waiting seems to be a major part of life, don't you think? Waiting to finish school, waiting to find someone, waiting to be fulfill a dream...it seems that most of life is spent in limbo, suspended above the next stage.

So, what shall we do as we wait? Well, the Bible says to be courageous. You know, of all the adjectives I'd use to describe myself, courageous is certainly not one of them. So, how can I make myself courageous enough to continue on? I guess I have to keep the rest of the verse in mind, "Wait on the Lord."

Sometimes our trials, extended uncomfortable - even painful - periods of life, can be beneficial. No, I'm not trying to trivialize any pain by saying, "it's gonna be alright." But we are promised that if we continue on, in His time and His will, He will strengthen our hearts. And if our hearts are strong, we can persevere.

Philippians is another of my favorite books in the Bible. It is a compact book so full of deep wisdom and practical direction. One of my favorite verses in this little gem of a book is the last part of the 13 – 14th verses of chapter 3:

“… Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me …” (Philippians 3:13b – 14a, NIV)

Written by Paul around the first century, it still holds the Truth today. On those days that I can’t move without pain, when I can’t read, write or focus on anything but the most insane sitcoms, I can look at that verse and take comfort.

Did you know that Paul has a chronic physical problem? In his second letter to the church at Corinth, he tells them that he prayed for healing, but God told him, “No.” At that point, most of us would give up, but instead of wallowing in self-pity, he made a decision to embrace his weakness. In fact, verse 10 of chapter twelve says,

“That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10, NIV)

No, he wasn’t crazy. He was saying that when he reached a point where he couldn’t do anything (you know you’ve been there), that’s when he let God take over. And God would always work in mighty ways. That’s the prize that Paul wanted – the life that God created just for him.

And that’s where we’ve got to find our joy when life get’s to be too much. The prize that God planned for us is just over that hill of pain, discouragement, loneliness or grief. Isn’t that great? We must just wait, have courage and faith in the One who created us and knows every bit about us.

About Angie:
Angie has a Master's degree in Education from the University of South Carolina. Before health issues detoured her plans, she was employed as a trainer and curriculum writer for a major insurance company.


But God's plan was still on track. Because of her illness-imposed retirement, she's had time to edit several newsletters and serve as Carolinas Area Coordinator for the American Christian Fiction Writers and secretary for the Carolina Christian Writers.


Angie's represented by Joyce Hart of Hartline Literary Agency and is an associate editor with DevoKids.com. She's currently working on a series of mystery novels set in small Southern towns. She and her husband, Charles, live in the middle of a big wood with three dogs near a small town in South Carolina.


Learn more about Angie on her website http://www.angelaearndt.com/

Tomorrow ~ join me in welcoming Angela E. Arndt

Angela E. Arndt

Beaten down from working with chronic pain or fatigue? Battling a long-term illness or disease? Discouraged? Depressed? Tired of waiting?

If so, check out what my dear friend, Angela E. Arndt, shares about writing through adversity tomorrow, March 2nd, in her article ~ Wait on the Lord.

See you then!

dora