Have you lost your HAPPY? (part 2)

In last week's post, we discussed how we're not always given a choice regarding divorce, health or even life. But...

Do we have a choice when it comes to being happy?

Let's gauge our happy level. How many of these phrases have you repeated? 

"I'll be happy when I...

Land the right job.

Make more money.

Meet Mr. Right.

Snag that publishing contract.

Finish school.

You get the idea.

Once you achieved those goals, were you happy? Maybe for a time, right? Until another goal or achievement was added to the list.

Happiness isn't found in a place or thing. It's not an event like a wedding or a divorce.

I'm a firm believer that being

HAPPY involves a choice, a daily decision, on my part.

So, how can a person find their HAPPY? 

Dive into the Word. This is the first place I seek refuge, to find a way out of the darkness, to dig myself out of the hole of discouragement.

I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? 

My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2 (NIV) 

Discover who you were created to be (a child of the King) and what you were created for (worship).

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Psalm 100:1-3 (NIV)

Yeah. I know it's not easy to shout for joy when you're slogging through tough times. But, that's what we were made for and praising God will naturally lift your spirit.

Rest on God's promise to never leave you or give up on you. Deut 31:6 (NIV)

Pray. Ask God to help bring the joy back into your heart.

Focus outward, not inward. Get a job, take up a hobby or volunteer for an organization with a cause that you're passionate about. Spending time with others, whether it's of the people or animal variety, takes your mind away from your problems. Always a good thing, right?

Recognize that time heals. Each day that passes lessens the sting of whatever trial or pain you're suffering. Have you ever gone through a bleak period, and then looked back later to realize you'd grown stronger because of it? Take heart in this. Know that tomorrow, while you might still hurt, God will eventually calm the storm. 

He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. 

They were glad when it grew calm, and He guided them to their desired haven. 

Psalm 107:29-30 NIV

Have you lost your HAPPY?

What are you doing to get it back?

Come back next week and we'll discuss specific short-term ideas

to regain your HAPPY.

Writing through Despair

2007. Not a good year.

We’d just moved to North Carolina from Florida. My husband spent long hours working at his new job, and as a writer who rarely left the house, I hadn’t developed a support system of friends yet. Lonely? You bet.

Uprooting our youngest son mid-year in 10th grade wasn’t ideal, so we arranged for him to stay and finish the school year. He spent the following summer in NC, but he missed his friends and decided to move back. Without telling us. Yeah. We were devastated.

That alone was tough, but on top of that, our oldest son, a Marine, faced another deployment. This time, though, suffering severe emotional and psychological trauma, he made a choice that altered his life forever.

My writing suffered. How could I create a romance when I stared down a deep black hole that threatened to swallow me whole? What about you? Are you drowning in despair? Here are some reminders that I needed:

Remember His promises. "Be strong and courageous…for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deut 31:6 NIV) This is one of my favorites.

Realize you don’t control others. You can only control your actions and reactions. Let everything else go.

Recognize that you may need counseling. Although I might have been lonely, I wasn’t alone. God heard my cry, and He answered with a sweet husband who recognized that I needed help. My husband procured a Christian counselor for our family, and after a few sessions and much prayer, God broke the chains of despair.

Reminisce on God’s faithfulness. I’m no stranger to pain or suffering. As a child, I suffered third degree burns, which entailed numerous surgeries. I married as a teen, and when the marriage failed, I was left with trust issues and a precious 11-month-old to raise by myself (until I met my true soul mate six years later). God faithfully carried me through these tough times, so I trust Him to continue to do so.

Refocus and appreciate. Stop focusing inward. I began volunteering at a therapeutic horse ranch serving the special needs community. My issues seemed insignificant in comparison. And I learned to appreciate the perks of empty nesting. :-)

Know God's heart for you, and trust the road He has you on, even when you can't see where it leads. 2007 was a tough year, but this is the journey God’s traveled with me since then: 

A healthy relationship with our now college-age son

Additions to our family 

My first writing contract and several more since then.

An encouraging, supportive group of writer friends

2013. It’s going to be a great year.

It’s a new day. A fresh slate for the year. 

Are you staring into the deep pit of despair?

Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning. Ps 30:5b NKJV